63336 blog

It’s widely acknowledged that communication is a two-way process; it requires an exchange of information. By contrast, telling, broadcasting, even blogging, are essentially one-way processes.

So where does asking a question fit in? Good question! Hold on…what do we mean by ‘good question’? Is it one that has challenging content or one that is well-posed? It can be both, of course, but this article is about the latter, and the art of asking a question well is one that falls squarely into the communication category: you need to give information to get information.

As we’ve had so much practice at interpreting and answering questions (nearly 22 million so far!), we can understand all questions no matter how they are worded, but there are times – just as in day-to-day communication between people – when we have to make assumptions about what we think you mean. It helps, then, if the question is made clearer: the content of the answer will be more precise and you’ll get it faster.

There’s no specifically right or wrong way to ask questions of 63336; it’s rather a case of being effective rather than ineffective. Our most well-crafted, useful, best-value-for-money answers are ones given in response to efficiently-worded questions. Imprecise, ill-defined questions can lead to disappointment, frustration and, regrettably, extra money if you need to clarify matters by sending an additional text.

Without the luxury of an instant, two-way, effortless and, more importantly, cost-free method of clarifying what’s beneath your information requirement (er…your question), here are some tips for getting the best bang for your buck:

1. Avoid ambiguity. Express precisely what it is you need to know. Effective questions begin with What, How, Why, Who, When, Where, Which. They help define exactly what it is you want to know. For example, rather than asking, “Can you fly from London to Marseilles?”, try “Which airlines fly from London to Marseilles?”

2. Focus the scope of your question. A focused question will lead to a focused answer, so provide relevant information in order to avoid wasteful provisos like “It depends on the type/size/model etc.” Rather than ask “How do you clean wooden floors?”, tell us about the wooden floor you’re interested in e.g. “How do you clean laminate wood floors?” The first question will result in an extremely brief description of how to clean a) laminate, b) unvarnished hardwood, and c) varnished hardwood floors; most of the answer won’t apply to your depressingly dirty laminate floor. Yes, there’s a little extra texting involved, but you’ll get very specific, useful information in return for that investment.

3. Present empirical data. You are seeking information that will fill a gap in your knowledge, so don’t second-guess. If you have an embarrassing itch which has nothing to do with the new detergent you’ve been using, don’t ask, “What are the signs of herpes?” Instead of getting what you wanted (the low-down on genital herpes), you may get an unwanted mini-treatise on cold-sores. Why assume herpes, though? Rather, spell out the observed symptoms and ask what the cause could be. Don’t forget, it’s as if it’s only you and the researcher in the room, and he or she is behind a screen, so don’t be shy.

4. Be aware of the 63336 editorial policy. We can’t give professional (as in subject to licence) medical, legal or financial advice. We can provide you with pertinent information, but have to stop short of prescribing drugs and telling you what stocks and shares to buy. You’ll need to phrase the question accordingly: “Which shares have performed the best in the last quarter?” rather than, “What shares should I buy?”

5. Give time and distance parameters. When you ask, “Where can I get the cheapest away strip for Chelsea?”, let us know if you’re prepared to shop online or if you need to march down the High Street RIGHT NOW because the game’s TONIGHT! Our assumption is the latter, but best deals may be achieved by shopping online and waiting a few extra days for delivery.

6. Try 2 spel korecly. We’re pretty good at interpreting misspellings and txtspk, but it presents an unnecessary risk. It creates doubt in the researcher’s mind if the question’s wording isn’t correct, and he or she doesn’t want to waste your time and money by making the wrong assumptions.

Will doing all this result in a perfect question? Yes. Will doing all this result in a perfect answer? Very probably, Yes. Why not just Yes? The answer is that there seems to be no way to prevent the – albeit rare – occasions when a momentary lapse in concentration results in an absolute howler. A recent question was, “What are all the prime numbers between 40 and 50?” (Verdict: well-posed, no ambiguity.) Our answer was, “Prime ministers between 1940 and 1950 were Neville Chamberlain (1937-1940), Winston Churchill (1940-1945 and 1951-1955), and Clement Attlee (1945-1951).”  (Verdict: red faces all round.) We are human and we do, very occasionally, get it wrong. But if ever you don’t like your answer simply contact us and we’ll sort it out for you.

Like any SMS text, answers from 63336 are generally restricted to 160 characters. This may seem impossibly short but, if your question is well-constructed, and well-defined, this tiny space can still permit a surprisingly in-depth answer. Give it a try.

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“So what sort of stuff do people text?”, ask excited people who’ve only just heard of 63336.

Well, the range of questions is enormous. Even the variety of straightforward information requests is vast. We’re more than happy to tell you when your next train is (we do best if you tell us where you are and where you want to go), which is the taller one between Ant & Dec (it’s Ant, by 2 inches), or where you can get UGG boots in Luton.[i]

Then there’s the simple demand “Send me some useless facts” – to which we might reply with something like “The back of the knee is called the popliteal fossa. Horses can’t vomit. George W Bush used to be a cheerleader, as did Samuel L Jackson & Steve Martin.” You know  – fun things.

However, it’s not all trains, nauseous horses and footwear. People will text 63336 with anything.

OK, we did ask for it – we’ve always said our service is “Any Question Answered”. When you invite the British public to “text ANY question” (as emphasised by the eyebrows of our lovely “one of the 63336″ at the end of this advert

naturally, that’s what you’re going to get: ANY question, way beyond the realms of facts, figures and phone numbers.

What’s going to happen to me?

Let’s do a bit of keyword analysis (which is definitely our kind of thing).

About 1,400 texts per month start “When will I…”. These aren’t people asking about when they’ll reach Abergavenny on the 17.34 from Newport – they’re asking us to predict the future for them. They might be

• “When will I get a place of my own?”
• “When will I hear about the interview I had today?”
• “When will I next kiss Emily?”

350 other customers, equally plagued by the mosquitoes of uncertainty, ask “What will happen…”, and then there’s a whole group of the exasperated “Why won’t…” questions – and uh-oh, now we’re in the realms of “Why won’t he listen when I talk to him?” and “Why won’t she text me back?”. Big old cans of worms, those.

But this is stuff that really bothers people, and we won’t shy away from it.

A big chunk of questions every week feature the phrase “I feel”. (Again, this isn’t counting those people who text with “Help me: It’s 2am and I feel like a kebab”.) In certain circumstances, 63336 gives out the Samaritans phone number, but we will try to help there and then with a caring and practical response to most troubles. Many people just want to know that someone’s heard what they’re saying, and that they’re not alone.

How do you…?

Finally, there are the embarrassing questions – not that anything can really embarrass 63336. Trust me when I say that 63336 has seen it all (including William Shatner’s performance of Rocket Man, and it doesn’t get much more embarrassing than that).

At its most basic level, there’s “How do you have sex?”[ii] – which is asked about once a day – and from there, it gets a lot more specific. If anyone’s ever done, imagined doing, or heard about someone else doing something – ahem – physically unusual, we’ll have had a question or two (or 500) about it.

Am I normal?

On questions of the body, let’s return to our keyword analysis. Here are some rough monthly figures which, really, speak for themselves:

Word or phrase	Relevant instances
what’s wrong with my…	80
normal	270
how big is the average…	1145
smell	500
my … looks weird	66
itchy	185

So… Why?

So some wonder why anyone would spend £1 asking an anonymous service about something to which there isn’t any right answer (or at least, not yet). There are a few reasons.

Firstly, 63336 has 1,000 thoughtful, intelligent people at the receiving end of that agonised question. Many have stacked up decades of life experience, and all have a genuine desire to help the customer in whatever way happens to be needed.

They can also look back at a history of questions from the same customer which contextualise the current dilemma – a bit like a therapist making notes of the client’s weekly issues. When you consider that one therapist costs about £45 an hour – and you can bet they’ll keep you coming back week after week – the £1 spent to get a reassuring, caring and insightful response to whatever’s bugging you seems pretty economical.

Secondly, using a service like ours is completely private. People want to share their burdens, but perhaps not publicly, so they turn to something personal to them – their mobile.

It’s just a text – no-one will ever know you asked (except us, and we keep everything absolutely confidential). It slips quietly through the ether and back without your name on it, and you don’t have to look anyone in the eye. And we’re pretty sure a therapist would want your name and a bit of eye contact, pretty much as a minimum.

63336 loves you too

So it makes sense, really. 63336 is the agony aunt you can write to who’ll write back straight away, and who won’t tell anyone you wrote. Actually, thinking about it, it’s also the one who will listen, the one who’ll always text you back, and the one who’s patient enough to give you a kind answer even at 4 in the morning. Not just an agony aunt – the ideal partner.

No wonder we get two marriage proposals every day. We also get “I love you” 3 times, and about 400 kisses – although the simple “Fancy a pint?” comes in at a more matey rate of 2.5 times a week.

We’ve found people respond to, and seem to appreciate, the invitation to “text ANY question”. Out of the nearly 21m questions we’ve answered from 2.1m customers, we’ve helped people not only get home when they’ve missed the last train, but know what to say to their other half when they get there.

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[i] Schuh stock UGG boots, and there’s a branch in Luton’s Arndale Centre, as well as The Harlequin in Watford. They also have an efficient mail order service.

[ii] Other versions received include “How do you have sex with a boy?”; “How do you have sex with a girl?”; and “How do you have sex with a fence?”.

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