14 June 2010

63336 Alternative Report on the USA vs. England game. Who was the biggest sinner?

Posted by: Paul Cockerton

Our latest Alternative Report takes its inspiration from a question we received last week “who’s the biggest sinner in the England team, according to the seven deadly sins?”

For those of you not intimately acquainted with Dante’s inferno, we used this and the Catholic church to get our expert 63336 researchers to focus on the sins of greed (annual salary), sloth (laziness on the pitch), envy (shouting for the ball), pride (too proud to sing the national anthem), gluttony (weight), wrath (shouting at the ref) and lust (we could have measured kisses, but these are rare on the actual pitch, so we looked in more depth at the footballers’ personal lives).

Our researchers carefully recorded stats throughout the game on Saturday, coming up with the result that Wayne Rooney is the biggest England sinner for the England side, and Clint Dempsey for the USA.

You can see the tables below, but here’s some of the questions we also answered relating to the seven sins.

Greed

Q. What is the average wage bill of the England and USA teams?
A. England players take home an average of £71,600 against the USA’s £10,200 per week. Proof that, in some things, the English are bigger than the Americans.

Gluttony

Q. Who was the heaviest player in the England vs. USA game?
A. The heaviest player tonight was Rob Green at 93kg; Gerrard was England’s beefiest outfield player at 83kg. The USA’s heavyweight Oguchi Onyewu was 91kg – though that was partly beard.

Lust

Q. Which of the England players is the most lustful?
A. Ashley Cole. Just imagine guys, married to Cheryl and still playing away; not once, not twice, but 4 or 5 times. Terry was naughty, but only with 1 lady.

Envy

Q. Which England player called for the ball the most?
A. There was little calling for the ball from England; they knew exactly where to put it. Aaron Lennon called most; Crouch is so tall he blinked rather than gestured.

Pride

Q. How many players in the England team sang the national anthem? And the USA?
A. Our boys did us proud, with 8 players piping up for the anthem, compared to 5 US players. Rooney, however, looked like a constipated Easter Island statue throughout.

Sloth

Q. Who was the laziest player?
A. USA defender Onyewo covered the least distance, running just 8,798 metres. Heskey was England’s most slothful, running 7,960 metres over 89 mins.

Wrath

Q. Who was the angriest player on the pitch?
A. Rooney; he got hot under the collar after an offside ruling, gave Tim Howard evils for doing his job, and complained to the ref for not defending him more.

Overall

Q. Who was the biggest sinning English player?
A. Rooney. With a high salary, one sex scandal, not singing the national anthem, and poor touches of the ball his sins of Greed, Lust, Pride, Wrath and Gluttony easily make him the biggest sinner.

Q. And who was the English saint – on the pitch?
A. Shaun Wright-Phillips was the saint of the game. He is one of the least fat (weighing in at 64kg), never got angry with the ref and remembered to sing the national anthem.

England 7 Deadly Sins Chart

Click to open Google Docs spreadsheet

To get regular updates from 63336 download the 63336 mobile app by pointing your mobile browser to http://63336.com/a. The 63336 mobile app is free, comes with a free question, and allows customers to browse the top questions and answers, 63336 buzz, and view their question and answer history. Alternatively, customers can follow 63336 on twitter: http://twitter.com/the63336.

1 June 2010

63336 Alternative Report on Eurovision

Posted by: Paul Cockerton

63336 Eurovision researcherEach year 25 European-ish nations gather together to compete for the prize to host next year’s Eurovision, and 63336 was on hand this year to run the latest of its Alternative Reports. Rather than focus on dress, style, or verse, we simply focused on the notes themselves. Which nation would sing the most off key notes? What songs were ripped off in the process? And who really deserved to win?

For the 2010 Eurovision contest, held in Oslo, we used the talents of a perfect pitch researcher, LJ Rich, who comments on the process in some detail on her blog.

Our analysis showed that despite finishing in last (25th) place, the UK were actually more in tune than the winners Germany.  Moldovia and Serbia topped the list for the most out-of-tune songs, with Serbia’s Milan Stanković hitting 117 bum notes all on his own.

Our league table (see below) shows that Belgium hit all the right notes despite only finishing 6th in the competition. Winners Germany hit an astounding 64 wrong notes per minute.

Q. Who should have won Eurovision?
A. Belgium. Their Tracey Chapman-esque entry hit just 8 bum notes overall and, with just one person on stage, referenced great hits such as Walking in Memphis.

Q. Which countries did the biggest rip-off songs?
A. Iceland ripped off Womanizer by Britney spears; Denmark copied Every Breath You Take & Simply The Best, Romania ripped off Lady Gaga’s Pokerface, and Ireland did an almost perfect rip off of My Heart Will Go On.

Q. Who had the most shocking key changes?
A. Spain, Norway and Portugal all had 2 shocking key changes. On the night 63336 felt that Portugal had the most obvious key changes, ripped off from James Horner’s composition for Titantic.

Q. Who had the most people on stage in Eurovision 2010?
A. 13 countries had the maximum of 6 people on stage. Spain unintentionally broke the record by having its stage stormed, adding a protestor and security to take its first set up to 8 people.

Most out of tune nations, Eurovision 2010

Country

Performer

Song

Bum Notes

Shocking Key Changes

Key on album

Finished
1. Serbia Milan Stanković Ovo Je Balkan 117 0 G minor 13 (72 points)
2. Moldovia Sunstroke Project & Olia Tira Run Away 71 0 Eb Minor 22 (27 points)
3. Germany Lena Satellite 64 0 B minor 1 (246 points)
4. UK Josh That Sounds Good To Me 49 0 G major 25 (10 points)
5. Greece Giorgos Alkaios & Friends OPA 46 0 Ab major 8 (140 points)
6. Spain* (2nd) Daniel Diges Algo Pequeñito (Something Tiny) 38 2 D minor 15 (68 points)
7. Azerbaijan Safura Drip Drop 31 0 Eb minor 5 (145 points)
8. Albania Juliana Pasha It’s All About You 31 0 F minor 16 (62 points)
9. Denmark Chanée & N’evergreen In A Moment Like This 29 1 F# Major 4 (149 points)
10. Iceland Hera Björk Je Ne Sais Quoi 27 1 Eb minor 19 (41 points)
11. Spain* (1st performance) Daniel Diges Algo Pequeñito (Something Tiny) 27 2 D minor 15 (68 points)
12. Ukraine Alyosha Sweet People 26 0 E minor 10 (108 points)
13. Israel Harel Skaat Milim 23 1 AB minor 14 (71 points)
14. Portugal Filipa Azevedo Há Dias Assim 22 2 F# major 18 (43 points)
15. Belarus 3+2 Butterflies 22 1 C major 24 (18 points)
16. France Jessy Matador Allez Olla Olé 21 1 Ab minor 12 (82 points)
17. Armenia Eva Rivas Apricot Stone 21 0 B minor 7 (141 points)
18. Bosnia & Herzegovina Vukašin Brajić Thunder And Lightning 19 0 F minor 17 (51 points)
19. Turkey maNga We Could Be The Same 20 0 D minor 2 (170 points)
20. Georgia Sofia Nizharadze Shine 19 0 G major 9 (136 points)
21. Romania Paula Seling & Ovi Playing With Fire 17 0 E minor 3 (162 points)
22. Ireland Niamh Kavanagh It’s For You 13 1 C major 23 (25 points)
23. Russia Peter Nalitch & Friends Lost And Forgotten 13 0 C major 11 (90 points)
24. Norway Didrik Solli-Tangen My Heart Is Yours 10 2 D major 20 (35 points)
25. Cyprus Jon Lilygreen & The Islanders Life Looks Better In Spring 9 0 C major 21 (27 points)
26. Belguim Tom Dice Me And My Guitar 8 0 A major 6 (143 points)

And finally, some of our most FAQ about Eurovision:

Q. Why is Israel in Eurovision?
A. Israel is geographically in Asia; specifically part of the Middle East. Culturally, it is considered European, qualifying for the UEFA Cup & Eurovision.

Q. What’s the record points in a Eurovision contest?
A. Norway won the Eurovision Song Contest in 2009, with Alexander Rybak & his infuriatingly catchy song Fairytale. His 387 points were a Eurovision record.

Q. Did Celine Dion really take part in Eurovision?
A. Celine Dion represented Switzerland when she won the Eurovision Song Contest in 1988 with Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi, despite her being Canadian.

28 May 2010

63336 Alternative Report on the iPad… queue

Posted by: Paul Cockerton

63336-Ipad-Man_white_webOur latest Alternative Report was prompted by a question “How many people would queue for the iPad launch in London?” The answer, as the doors opened, was 451.

As you’ll see below, we also got some 63336 researchers to churn some stats on what people were buying, what clothes they owned, and how they measured up to Steve Jobs. Of course, whilst we were there, we took the opportunity to hand out books, t-shirts and bananas to the people waiting patiently for their latest slice of Apple technology. This resulted in Jake Lee, the first to go through the doors, being photographed for the UK’s newpapers wearing our 63336 t-shirt.

Q. How many people in the queue don’t own a Mac?
A. 25% in the queue just used PCs. 38% owned a Mac and 37% owned both. Everyone owned a computer of some sort. Jake Lee, first in the queue, owns a Dell Vostro 1510 laptop, Mac G4 and eMac.

Q. What is the average age of the iPad customer?
A. 36% were aged 26–39. 18–25s were the next-largest group with 26%. 11% were older than Steve Jobs at 56 or over.

Q. How many people had actually seen or tried out an iPad before buying it?
A. Only 44% in the queue had ever tried an iPad before. The majority – 56% – were buying the product based on reviews, international success and a blind faith in Apple products.

Q. Why did people queue at the Apple Store on Regent St?
A. Most queued for the atmosphere and ‘to be there’ (44%), whilst only 2% admitted to being die-hard Mac fans. Interestingly, 25% wrongly assumed the iPad would only be available from the Apple Store – it is available nationwide in Currys and Dixons today too.

Q. How many women were in the queue?
A. Only 8% of the queue for the iPad were women. Of the 92% of men in the queue, 16% had beards. 5% of everybody in the queue admitted to owning a pair of ‘John Lennon’ circular glasses, made doubly famous by Jobs.

Q. But what is the point of an iPad, according to the first UK queue?
A. 57% said they’d use if for browsing the net as their No.1 purpose. 27% said for them, it was for Apps – with 12% being for games alone. 9% will use it mostly for listening to music and just 4% for reading books. Watching films and TV came in at 3%.

24 May 2010

63336 Alternative Report on England vs Mexico

Posted by: Paul Cockerton

The England vs Mexico friendly international saw 63336 launch its Fabio Index, a measure of how well the England coach performs at important matches. In the true spirit of the 63336 Alternative Reports, rather than measuring the mundane, such as possession, shots on target or fouls, 63336 chose to focus on Fabio’s ability to sing the national anthem, attire, movements and tactile gestures.

Master tactician that he is, Fabio Capello clearly got wind of 63336’s plans to monitor his every move, and resolved to stand as still as possible all game. Apart from a few hurried points, and a moment of weakness when he crouched down in delight, the England coach scored a measly 42.7%. He didn’t smile all match, and only once touched a player – Adam Johnson the lucky recipient in the 84th minute. The signs were there early on, with his stony silence through the national anthem and his funereal dark blue tie. Improvement needed, Fabio. We’ll be watching.

As well as measuring Fabio’s performance, researchers from 63336 analysed the commentary from Radio 5live and ITV. A sampling of these results,  in the form of Q&As, are provided here for your entertainment:

Fabio Index

Q. What was Fabio’s most common gesture during the match?
A. Fabio managed a measly 7 finger points, followed by 5 winces. Quite where his usual stony-faced silence stops and the winces start is a difficult call.

Q. Who did Fabio touch the most?
A. Adam Johnson was the only person to get a touch, with a pat on the back in the 84th minute. They don’t have fleas, Fabio. You can shake their hands.

Q. How many words in the National Anthem did Fabio sing?
A. Not one. He stood – as he did for most of the match – in stony silence. Pull your finger out, Fabio. You’re supposed to be leading the nation to glory.

Q. Ok, the important things: what has his tie like?
A. Fabio’s tie was as mundane as his actions in the match. The dark blue tie did have some classical style, but was just too funereal. 63336 scores it 3/10.

Commentator analysis

Q. How cliched was the commentary by the ITV team?
A. ITV’s commentary was surprisingly un-cliched and factual. Townsend tended to the bizarre, mentioning the park (pitch), pretty football (good shot) and a bit mucky (not very well played).

Q. Which BBC radio commentator was most disappointed with the England performance?
A. Chris Waddle expressed his disappointment at England’s play the most, 16 times compared to 14 mentions by Mike Ingham & 5 by Graham Taylor.

Q. What were the most frequent buzzwords in the England vs. Mexico game for 5Live?
A. The 5Live commentators were most keen to remind us all of the upcoming World Cup, with 36 mentions. Injuries got a total of 17 mentions.

Q. What were the most frequent buzzwords in the England vs. Mexico game on ITV?
A. The 3 most frequent buzzwords in the England v Mexico game were ‘World Cup’; ‘Injury’ & ‘Beckham’. Neither metatarsals or 1966 were mentioned by ITV.

Master tactician that he is, Fabio Capello clearly got wind of 63336’s plans to monitor his every move, and resolved to stand as still as possible all game. Apart from a few hurried points, and a moment of weakness when he crouched down in delight, the England manager did all he could to thwart the 63336 Fabio Index, scoring a measly X%. He didn’t smile all match, and only once touched a player – Adam Johnson the lucky recipient in the 84th minute. The signs were there early on, with his stony silence through the national anthem and his funereal dark blue tie. Improvement needed, Fabio. We’ll be watching.

For live alternative views on life, the universe and everything, follow 63336 on twitter.

30 April 2010

63336 Alternative Report of Reports

Posted by: Ruby Cowling

Hot on the smoking heels of the third Alternative Report into the televised leaders’ debates comes the Report of Reports – 63336’s overall picture of how the three leaders stuttered, deviated, joked and buzzworded their way through the three TV debates. We don’t so much care who “won” the debates – voting on 6 May is all that counts, after all – we just revel in the detail of their performances, and the number of times they charmed, surprised or scared us. Not to mention how knackered they looked by the end.

Some conclusions we’ve come to:

Q. Who had the most fun over the 3 debates?
A. Underdog Nick Clegg was the most relaxed, with 13 jokes, laughs & flirts over the 3 weeks. David Cameron took it all more seriously with only 7, while Brown managed 11.5.

Q. Who was the most disagreeable?
A. Gordon Brown agreed just twice with the other 2 leaders, while disagreeing 80 times. Nick Clegg agreed the most (14 times), but also disagreed 66 times – more than David Cameron’s 59 objections.

Q. What did they do with their hands?
A. Nick Clegg was the “handiest”, using both hands to emphasise his points a huge 851 times over the 3 debates. That’s nearly 4 times as much as David Cameron. Both Gordon Brown & Nick Clegg used their right hands twice as much as their left, while left-handed Cameron was more evenly balanced.

Q. Who told the most jokes over the 3 debates?
A. David Cameron just pips the others with a total of 6 jokes over Clegg & Brown’s 5 each. With the total at only 16 jokes across the 4.5 hours of debate, Michael McIntyre’s probably not worried.

You can also still get our three individual reports, from week one, week two and week three.

29 April 2010

63336 Alternative Report on the Leaders’ Debate: #3 The Economy

Posted by: Paul Cockerton

Thursday nights will never be the same. Three weeks, three Leaders’ Debates, three teams of 63336 researchers providing analysis and statistics that we then compile into our Alternative Reports. This week’s focus was on the economy, and it was quite a dour debate – only four jokes were attempted and leaders’ laughs were scarce on the ground.

Here’s an extract of some questions and answers from the third Alternative Report on the Leaders’ Debates. You can also read the reports from week one and week two.

Q. Who used the oddest word?
A. The oddest words to crop up were pot plants, paper clips & shadows – all from Clegg. Cameron referred to “frightening people” 3 times. Brown said “we are desperate”.

Q. Which party leader was the biggest smiler in the third leaders’ debate?
A. Gordon Brown smiled the most in this debate – 10 times. He has a nice smile when he remembers he’s got one. Clegg got 6 in. Cameron didn’t smile at all.

Q. Who showed the biggest change in the 3 leaders’ debates?
A. David Cameron showed the most volatility, with a 5% swing from ‘We’ to ‘I’ in the second debate & a massive 9% swing back to ‘We’ in the final debate.

Q. Who got blamed the most?
A. Unsurprisingly Gordon Brown was blamed the most, 24 times by Clegg and 16 times by Cameron. The question causing the most arguments was Radley Russell’s about immigration.

22 April 2010

63336 Alternative Report on the Leaders’ Debate: #2 Foreign Affairs

Posted by: Paul Cockerton

Another week, another live televised debate between the leaders of the UK’s main political parties. After Cameron’s smiling performance last time, Brown’s jokes, and Clegg’s hand movements, it was interesting analysing the leaders this time round to see if any of their tactics had changed. In the Sky News debate, Cameron told the most jokes (5), Brown shook his head the most (67 times) and Clegg deviated the most (20 times). Here is an extract of some of the Q&As from our second 63336 Alternative Report on the Leaders’ Debate. 63336alternativereport

Q. Which party leader cracked the most jokes and one-liners?
A. After coming last in the 1st debate, Cameron told the most jokes during the 2nd debate. Brown gave the best joke, calling the others ’squabbling boys at bath time’.

Q. How many times did Cameron make puppy dog eyes at the camera?
A. Cameron made puppy dog eyes just 16 times this week. He peaked at 6 during the pensioners debate and saved a special look for questioner, Grace Lane.

Q. Which leader made the most unusual expression during the debate?
A. David Cameron seemed to get a tear in his eye at 59 minutes answering a question on pensions. He got worked up over Labour leaflets. His tear returned on cue at 64 and 74 mins.

Q. When did the party leaders express themselves as individuals the most?
A. Gordon Brown referred to himself as an individual about the Pope, Nick Clegg talked about his environmentalism & David Cameron stood alone on coalitions.

Q. Who interrupted the most?
A. Gordon Brown interrupted his rivals the most, cutting in without a “by your leave” a bullish 8 times. He left David Cameron looking rather nipped.

Q. What were the weirdest buzzwords?
A. Cameron said “we all agree” once. “Work together” was mentioned 4 times, but not by Brown. Clegg mentioned nutters once. “If I was your PM” was uttered 5 times (Cameron). Chaos and “frightening people” also featured.

Download the full report (pdf format). The next Leaders’ Debate is on 29 April, from 8pm. Follow @the63336 to get live ‘alternative stats’ during the debate.

15 April 2010

63336 Alternative Report on the Leaders’ Debate: #1 Domestic Economy

Posted by: Paul Cockerton

Well, that’s it. 92 minutes of the first ever televised leader debate, and researchers from 63336 were on hand to produce answers to questions that the British public has always wanted to know. Within minutes of the debate ending, we’d worked out that Clegg used his hands the most (11min 28s in total), Cameron smiled the most (97 times) and Brown was the quickest off the mark when answering questions (0.2s).

Here’s some of the Q&A we’ve produced in the 63336 Alternative Report, which you can download for free here (pdf format).

Q. Which party leader used their hands the most in the first debate?
A. Nick Clegg from the Liberal Democrats used his hands for a total of 11 min 28 sec, compared to just 9 min 19 sec for Brown and Cameron’s 9 min 50 sec.

Q. Which party leader was the biggest smiler?
A. David Cameron was the biggest smiler by far – smiling 3 times as much as Gordon Brown (34 smiles) and Nick Clegg (31 smiles). He smiled 97 times in total.

Q. Which party leader was quickest off the mark?
A. Gordon Brown on the final question, question 8, who barely let Clegg finish before beginning his response in approximately 0.2 seconds.

Q. What were the top buzzwords?
A. During the debate, the most top 5 repeated words were tax (40), police (38), schools (36), the economy (33) and education (32). The budget deficit was only mentioned 13 times.

Q. Who told the best jokes during the first leaders debate?
A. Gordon Brown cracked the best jokes during the debate. His finest was when he remarked that Cameron couldn’t airbrush his policies like he’d airbrushed his posters.

Q. Which party leader positioned themselves as more of a personality?
A. Nick Clegg spoke of himself as an individual 47% of the time, compared to David Cameron doing so 37% of the time & Gordon Brown 34% of the time.

To see the full press release about the 63336 Alternative Report, and for contact details for more information, please go here. The next Leaders’ Debate takes place on Thursday 23 April, from 8.30pm. Follow @the63336 on twitter for live statistics, and check back on this blog for the next full report.

63336 Alternative Report on the Leaders’ Debates (the intro)

Posted by: Paul Cockerton

Tonight sees the first televised debate between leaders of the UK’s main political parties, and 63336 is going to be on hand to analyse the real statistics: want to know who had the longest pause? Who repeated themselves the most? And who managed to dodge the question the most? 63336 is going to find out for you.

Analysis is being provided by researchers from 63336 who are scrutinising each of the three debates, which are on domestic affairs, foreign policy, and the economy. The categories for analysis are based on questions previously texted to 63336 by the British public, for example ‘How often does a politician not answer the question?’. The 63336 researcher statistics and analysis are then compiled overnight and published each week as the 63336 Alternative Report on the Leaders’ Debates. The first report will be available here on this blog first thing tomorrow.

In the meantime, here’s some questions texted to 63336 we answered earlier:

Q. Why is polling day always a thursday?
A. Elections are held on Thursdays because in past times, it gave the ballots time to get to London by Monday. The last one not on a Thursday was in 1931.

Q. How much does the priminister earn each year.. Round about? X
A. The British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, earns an annual salary of £197,689. In comparison, an MP earns a salary of £61,820, not including allowances.

Q. Did the conservatives use a look a like on the brown posters?
A. No. The conservatives didn’t use a Gordon Brown lookalike on their election posters. They used photos where he’d been caught in unfortunate poses.

Q. What percentage of the UK voted last time?
A. In the 2005 General Election, 61.2% of the UK population voted. Thus, 38.8% did not exercise their right to vote. Turnout in the 2001 election was 59.3%.

Q. How many prime ministers has the current queen had?
A. 11 Prime Ministers have served under Elizabeth II, including: Harold Macmillan, Edward Heath, Margaret Thatcher, John Major, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown.