63336 Celebrity answers with Jon Holmes
Our latest celebrity answerer is Jon Holmes, a comedy writer, presenter and performer. His claim to fame is seemingly endless with a litany of TV and Radio shows (Mock the Week, The Now Show, Have I Got News For You) picking up 14 awards along the way (including swimming proficiency).
Before we start, one little secret. Whilst many people know Jon wrote Stephen Fry's script for the BAFTAs, not many people know that it was Stephen who first introduced Jon to 63336, over lunch.
Want to find something out for yourself? You can ask your first question for free.
Q. Who is Jon Holmes?
A. Jon Holmes is the working title of the writer and comedian Jon Holmes. He is on the radio more often than the weather. He mostly haunts BBC 6 Music and Radio 4, like a tiny ghost.
Q. What for you is the meaning of life?
A. The least accessible of all the Monty Python films.
Q. Which living writer/comedian do you most admire and why?
A. Whoever is in that drumming Gorilla suit in the Cadbury's linkadvert. Hahahahahahaha. It's a gorilla. And he's DRUMMING!!!! Lol! ROLF!!!
Q. Are you naturally funny or do you have to work at it?
A. See above answer. I think we can all agree that work is involved.
Q. What's your favourite 63336 answer?
A. Once, when I asked where my car keys were, 63336 was right. Informative and helpful. That's the beauty of 63336.
Q. a) Do you have any taboo subjects b) what really shocks you?
A. a) No. b) Once, checking a bulb inside a plugged in fridge, I accidentally stuck my finger directly into the live socket. 63336 would advise against this I'm sure.
Q. On your radio show, you discuss politics with a 5 year old called Nikita. If 5 year olds ran the country, what would their first act in power be?
A. Nikita seems keen on passing legislation that means free sweets for anyone under 12. She says she would also re-evaluate the Common Agricultural Policy and bail out the economy with tax cuts.
Q. How did it feel to be entered for a Sony Award by Virgin, even though you'd been sacked by them?
A. Slightly peculiar. A bit like having a doctor tell you you've got a day to live but then, on your way out, reminding you to set your Sky+ series link for Spooks.
Q. Who's funnier: Stephen Fry or Armando Iannucci?
Q. In your latest book Rock Star Babylon, you reveal the truth behind many rock 'myths'. Which myth was the most difficult to verify?
A. The one about Take That that the lawyers made me take out.
Q. Sorry, but it has to be asked, ever been invited to appear on a show when you've been mistaken for porn star John Holmes?
A. He's dead. He died of having The Aids in 1988. That would be pretty poor research on behalf of the show wouldn't it?
Q. Have you ever edited your own wikipedia entry?
A. No but in my live show I alter the entries of rock stars according to audience suggestions. We sort of create live rock n'roll rumours and libelous lies. And someone once wrote on mine that I lived near Kettering with the Radio 2 DJ Janice Long.
Q. How many hours per week do you listen to radio, and what's your favourite programme?
A. Every morning I wake up with John Humphrys in my ear. Beyond that I'm not prepared to comment.
Q. Who would win a fight between Clive James and Clive Anderson?
A. James has the advantage of bulk but Anderson is as lithe as a bald cat. I would have to say Anderson. After a recording of Radio 4's Loose Ends, I once saw him rip a man's throat out like Patrick Swayze in the film Roadhouse.